Milleniumisms

Milleniumism is in the air
18 more months and then we're there.
The year 2000 is around the bend
For only himself mankind must fend
Surely you know that this is fair.

We're so smart to use our heads
building equipment we now must dread
"Save a little space
Make the year two-place"
So soon mankind may all be dead.

It's not just computers
with a glitch for its users,
it's Technically anything
using chips for processing,
like cell phones and cruisers.

Ok, you stop and think
That only your computer will blink
and everything else will be just fine
until you realize how tight the line
between disaster and the brink.

Forecasters predict people will go
to the banks and brokers and say, "No,
Give me my money, right now, dammit.
I fear your systems will run the gamut."
So the markets will crash and justly so.

The shelf life of spam is a curious thing
Did Hormel know he had the brass ring
When this nifty canned meat
is all that will beat
the chipsets in their manufacturing?

We brought this problem unto ourselves
relying on technology to be our elves.
Ma Nature is finally about to say,
"Enough is enough, it's my turn to play."
Notice the space on the grocery shelves.

Ask yourself this: Can you survive
as she intended, to stay alive,
when all you have handy
is a bicycle and candy
Cuz everything else will take a dive.

Nuclear plants must make a vow
to shut themselves down before "KAPOW!"
Because nobody knows
how deep it goes
and I don't think we want a meltdown.

Some will paint a dismal spray
of the future and start to pray,
But what I fear the very most
Are the ones with huge egos.
"We're prepared," so they say.

Of course we have nuts
who will blow their guts
on the eve of that day
18 months away
Some UFOs won't accept the putz.

It ain't my problem I steadfastly maintain
I'm ready to see techology in vain
to slow down the pace
of this absurd human race
That has made itself utterly insane.

But people everywhere will die
And of course I'll likely cry,
Overall this is the price
humanity pays for its vice
of science upon which it MUST rely.

Don't let yourself get sick
or turn your head too quick
The hospital backup stations
have all run out their power durations
and highways are one big oil slick.

No power, no water, no gas
Wonder how long for it to pass.
Stockpile some wood
and food if you could
and a gun (hysteria en masse).

I for one will sit outside
and watch CEOs suffer their pride
for putting it off
while playing their golf
Give me strength to withhold my chide.

Half the world is scurrying like mad
to fix it all now before it gets bad
The other half don't know and don't care
and some even say so with a peculiar flair.
"Power down" is my favored cure, ironclad.

This is gonna be the greatest show on earth.
Eons of men never witnessed the birth
Of such widespread panic and dismay
Until we developed the technological way
As the only means of recognizing our worth.