10/11/97: I said it matters not what happens with the Lady, but in truth I believe it does matter. There she is above as I would see her one dark night unannounced. Fueled by her fantasy, locked in this reality, I allow rigor mortis to remain. Something must break me free, deep inside. I keep searching.
She deserves an honorable isolation from the darkened world of my misery.
I quit my job last night in protest over someone's unjustified firing. I had to make this stand to grant myself a worth of resistance to fight for. I will survive this life in this body, but the man has me indignant. I have so many talents and so much insight and intelligence. I have marketable skills and knowledge and confidence. I am a leader by nature, give me an army to command. I follow my gut as it seems to get me further than the paralysis of analysis. What I won't do is play the game. My non-conformist gene is a mutant I think. I am capable of humility, and I believe we're about to go there again, should I wake up Monday morning in a state of desparate resolve.